Things To Act
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Titles Rejected by the Honors Thesis Committee:
New Light on the Book of Revelation: The First Six Hundred Sixty-Six Days of the Clinton Presidency.

Culture of Shame: Back-Alley Abortions at BYU

“Not Just a Token”: Recollections From BYU’s Second African-American Student

Condoms or the Pill? A Quantitative Survey of Birth Control Choices at Wymount Terrace

Historical Mormons Revisited: Eliza R. Snow as a Postmodern Radical Feminazi

In Defense of Censorship: The Irrelevance of Academic Freedom

New Light on the Manifesto: Genetic Health, Rural Utah, and Inbreeding Trends

Quantifying Righteousness: A 116-Variable Model

Judging Righteous Judgment: Ten Reasons Emma Smith is Going to Hell

The Modern Mormon Romance Novel: Artless Drivel, or Soft-Core Porn?

“Give Said the Little Stream”: Wasting Water and Drought Among Utah Mormons

“Come Thou Fount” and Apostasy: The Hymnbook Committee’s Quantifiable Effect on Church Membership

Safety in Numbers: Why We Care More About Third-World Baptism Rates Than Converting Our Neighbors

Testimony Meeting as a Dying Art: Some Recent Trends

Female Sons of Perdition? Why Hillary Clinton is Not the AntiChrist

Market Failures, Monopolies, and Rent-Seeking: The BYU Bookstore as a Case Study

BYU Liberals: Tragically Misguided, or Actively Evil?

Profiles in Incompetence: The History of the Daily Universe

Mormon Eugenics? The BYU Honors Housing Program

The Book of Mormon Code Revisited: Shocking Insights From the Original Manuscript

Very amusing.
Other ideas:

Love Thy Neighbor: Tracking the Spread of Epstein-Barr Virus Through a BYU Singles Ward

The Friberg Code: Shocking Hidden Messages in Mormon Art

Casting the First Stone: The Theory and Practice of Self-Righteous Condemnation

Cougareat Me: Tracking the Physiologic Effects of BYU Cafeteria Food

A Blind Taste Test of Jello With and Without Shredded Carrots

Exalting Mediocrity: Grade Inflation in the BYU Honors Program and Why It Conforms to the Parable of the Workers In the Field

Miming: A Novel Method of Teaching the Pythagorean Theorum to Kindergardeners
Don't forget:

Not My Brother's Keeper: The Mohave County Sheriff's Response to Colorado City's Rampant Sexual Misconduct

Otherwise, rolling on the floor laughing about these.
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